You know you're a professional dc intern when...

...You’ve got a pair of loafers for every occasion.
...You realize you could really use another string of pearls.
...hating tourists is an acceptable form of racism.
...You could take the metro or walk.. it doesn’t really matter.
...There are more polo shirts in your closet than undershirts.
...Ugly people start looking attractive because they understand politics.
...You hate a person for liking any kind of news television personality.
...You don’t think being a politician would be any fun at all.
...Someone from outside dc starts talking to you and it immediately becomes annoying.
...You can organize your facebook friends by their ideology.
...Sports suddenly become interesting because they’re not politics.
...You hate going anywhere near the national mall.
...Your dreams involve outlook.
...You know which taxis can take you across state lines and which can’t.
...You think a beer that’s not free isn’t worth the bother.
...Getting stopped by a motorcade makes you want to drive a nail into your eyeball.
...You think everyone outside dc is politically a moron.
...You start thinking about how expensive it is to keep up national monuments.
...You think the metro system is more incompetent than the KGB.
...An invitation to a party off the metro line is an invitation to a party that will be ignored.
...You think kickball can totally supplement going to the gym.
...Your local news is everyone else's national news.
...Your main source of news is a blog. (and the onion)
...Your main source of news your blog. (and the onion)
...Your blog gives you better news than any news station around. (except the onion)
...The only way you can get drunk is with hard liquor.
...You don't know if any of your friends work at a for-profit company.
...You carry an umbrella in June.
...You carry an umbrella in June to hold over someone more important than yourself.
...Someone significantly older than you has hit on you in the past week and you put up with it because your respect their writing.
...Your Facebook profile picture is with Ron Paul.
...You celebrate Repeal Day.
...You make everyone else in the bar celebrate Repeal Day.
...You look like your thirty, but your actually 23.
...You can pencil sketch a bar crawl of happy hours in 30 seconds that'll get you trashed under $15 and put mardi gras to shame.
...Your family has absolutely no idea what you do on a day to day basis.
...The last thing you want in the world is for your family to know what you do on a day to day basis.

(this blog post came out of a conversation with a coworker, thanks coworker!)